How Does Your Inner Fears And Insecurities Affect You?

      “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.” - Eleanor Roosevelt

Fear has its way of paralyzing you. Most of the things we fear for never gets to happen. It only exist in our head. It's your own inner fears, and insecurities that are creating this illusion.

I was consumed with fear, I couldn't find myself. Being the confident type  it was so unusual of me. I was always active, and at the top of every activity.
I couldn't keep up with all the negative thoughts going through my head.
Applying for a job was what  stirred-up my fear. Having been called for an interview, and I couldn't confront it. All the self help books on preparing for an interview, didn't seem to help.
What if on getting there I was asked a difficult question?, what if I couldn't answer these questions?, what if my answers were not impressive enough?, what if I was rejected at the end?
I constantly had to ask myself.

 As each day came closer to my interview date i grew worse. I sort for support from friends and family, though they were very supportive, they all pushed me forward with lots of encouragement.
I remember going home after all the 'go go girl' from friends, and feeling all fully prepared, only for me to wake up the next day feeling terrified, and wishing to call the recruitment department to cancel.

 Those were my bad days.
I must say there are days in my live i refer to as the bad days. These are days when i don't  feel strong enough to face the world. Days when i woke up with nothing to look forward to, and i know so many people experience these bad days as well because this is a universal experience.
In my typical mornings; I wake up, exercise, go through my online social feeds, and make myself a home made lime tea.
But on my bad days 'i just laid in bed for hours, and not looking forward to doing any of these things. I feel gloomy on these days.

I struggled to push these negative feelings away.
As humans it doesn't mean we shouldn't have our fears, most courageous people who have achieved great things in their live would confess to having experienced fear at several points in their lives.

Dealing with fear doesn't mean you should totally eliminate it from your life, but acknowledging it, having the grace to move on with your daily activities, and not letting it affect you.

Realizing that this was just me judging myself- was the first step i needed to take.
I replaced my negative fears with the positive ones.

My thoughts now became- what if i performed impressively?

Also, realizing that the interviewer is equally a normal human who has fears too is a great way to fight fear,  the interviewer might be tensed up as well, and having  difficulties in asking questions.

Truth is; most times we spend our energy thinking of how others might perceive us, or what their thoughts are about us, but they fact is that- they too are consumed with thoughts of themselves.
Be aware that fear is a just feeling, not a fact.

So what i do is whenever i find myself in a difficult situation that i can't handle: I just relax, and let things happen as it is - simple.
Other times using positive experience from the past to deal with your fear is also a way of helping yourself.
Mine was an instance were i went for an audition, and i felt scared i was going to forget some parts on my script despite preparing so well for it, but ended up doing exceptionally well, even better than what i expected. This instance gives me the courage to move forward, not letting my fear overwhelm me.

Look for a past experiences were you expected the worst to happen but everything turned out perfectly well, then relate it with your current situation.
Having all this knowledge handy, i was finally able to gain the courage to go through with the interview.
Need i tell you the interview turned out great.
The best way to gain strength, and self confidence is to do what you're afraid to do.

By : Uju Morah

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  1. I love the way you expressed your innermost experience. Indeed its good to know that we are not alone in dealing with our experiences

  2. I found this post interesting. Thanks


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