You're NOT Broken Within

" dont stress the could haves, if it should have , it would have"

       I know how it feels when you thought you had the best relationship on the entire planet ,with so much peace and happiness only for things to fall apart right before your very eyes, and you can't do anything about it.

Most adults have had their hearts broken atleast twice in their life.

Typically most relationships always  seem so perfect at the start,  that's the stage where it's so hard to see things for what it is. You tend to give labels to your significant other  such as he/she's extremely funny, loving, so fun to be with, even if he's doing something so unacceptable.

Those same fancy things you saw at the begining is what will drive you insane half way through.

But are these feelings fleeting?

I m not saying all relationships go through this phase but i can say a good number do.

Having a good foundation is what keeps a relationship, and you need to be honest with yourself about your values and needs.

'why do i want a relationship? Am i ready to accept another imperfect being?, Is this the right time to have a relationship?.'

You need to have these questions answered as honestly as possible.

Be who you are ,no pretence and let the other person have the opportunity to decide for themselves if you're what they need  in their life at that moment. 
You can't pretend to be all social but deep within you know you 'il do rather creep under your blanket.

And if you have deal breakers you can figure out how to handle them then.

Because whatever you allow is what will continue, whenever someone shows' you who they truly are the first time ' believe them'.

And when things get to  that point where its broken beyond fixing, choosing  the hard way by leave will eventually give you peace of mind.

It's okay it didn't end into something beautiful. 

Atleast be happy you had someone who took the journey with you for awhile.

Not just that, broken relationships helps you gain perspective ,and fix the things you took for granted like putting yourself first and loving yourself.

If you're going through a journey of self discovery after a bad relationship ,know you can be better again;

  • Be you and do your own thing, work hard. The right people who belong in your life will come to you and stay.

  • Focus on other areas of your life . For me i like to develop software codes, it's something i try to regularly improve on. I gain so much joy working on them.Re-discover your passion. Start doing again the things you left behind. Maybe you abandoned your music lessons or your dance class , renew your passion for them, and channel your energy toward making something positive out of it.

  • Bad relationships have a way of minimizing your self esteem. Maybe you were once that bubbly lively type of person who knew how to to get things going, and suddenly you are these person with a very low self esteem. Never let anyone devalue your self esteem, because you alone have the power to determine your strengths. Always surrounded yourself with 'the Dreamers and the Believers', those who see greatness in you even when you can't see them yourself.

     Whenever you find yourself feeling down from a bad relationship, always remember the universe has a greater plan for you, so open up.

Photo Credit: www.myrenewedmind.org

Written by Uju Morah


  1. Your post is just amazing. I got your notification of a new post.

  2. Nice heading too . you are not broken within because any breakups are on the emotional side not physical .so anyone can kick back up .. Thats what makes you strong.beautiful.

  3. hows this? never allow yourself to be that vulnerable to anyone again. because no one has the right to destroy who you are....no one has the right to kill your character. and you shouldn't be dumb enough to allow someone that kind of power in your life...so live alone. because then you get to establish your own boundaries, you define what is allowable and what is not. you should never allow other's to establish that for you. no one can be trusted with that much of you, because human nature is such that they will take advantage of your generosity for their own advantage. living alone helps you establish boundaries that make it easier to cut if off if its not working for you...whats the most you lose? the relationship? you can move on...but if you're cohabiting, you lose much more, there is a difference between being alone and being lonely...if you are not comfortable in your own skin, no one else will be either! fix that first!. i love living alone. and finally im at a place in my life where i don't feel void because i am not living with someone. i have my space. i control how far and how deep the relationship goes. and if its not good enough for the other person, tough shit, let them go...i will never ever again become infinitely vulnerable to anyone again..i will only go so far, and thats it...because humans have proven they cant be trusted with that much of your heart without using it against you, and ultimately try to destroy you, because you refuse to conform into the image they have of you.. no one has the right to disenfranchise your character to make themselves feel superior or for the purpose of manipulating you into the person they want you to be. . take control. establish your own boundaries and let people know, you can come this far, and no further...and most of all MEAN IT!

    1. Thanks for sharing your thoughts . However, this post is about realigning and getting yourself back from a bad relationship. Vulnerability in the context of a loving relationship is vital to grow your relationship, it's like opening up a part of you, and without that you can't fully experience a relationship in a way you should. It's sounds like you v experienced a bad relationship, it doesn't mean your potential relationships will be messed up. Most relationships maynot work out if you have compatibility issues Take your time to set your needs straight and in so doing when you finally meet the right person your needs will align.


Please leave your comments